This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
two words: eviction party
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
