how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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