oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize