Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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