so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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