just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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