i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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