Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
