Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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