I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
