the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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