she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
