No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There was a lot of him and a little penis
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
