Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we're making bets on your personal life
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
