It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
