She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
