When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
