so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
