I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
