I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
