what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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