And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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