Whod you bang
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had sex on a roof
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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