Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
