Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
