I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
