i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
