i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
