I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
