I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize