he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
