Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize