oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
