In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
