haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
