Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
