If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
