Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
