Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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