Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
sarcasm needs its own font
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
