The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
