Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
