Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
