my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
