I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
