My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
