you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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