i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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