Sponge bath it is.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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