operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
