Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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