4 words: hood of his car
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
