It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
