I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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