Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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