oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
