We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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