shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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