i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
