Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
