Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
