I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
