the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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