I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
