Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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