Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
