i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this just has baby written all over it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
