I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize