Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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