The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
