Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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