You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
