How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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