Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
