So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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